The Gym

Dear journal,

I’ve been needing to write this for some time now. I’ve known the truth about my situation but have not admitted it to myself. I am not in the physical shape I need to be in. I need to lose quite a few pounds and lower my cholesterol. I also have high blood pressure, don’t sleep well, and run out of breath quickly. But those are all really connected to being overweight. I know taking care of these problems will make me feel better and lengthen my time here on earth.

I’ve tried to talk to my Doctor about it, but surely he’s too busy to really care about my health, right? I know that’s his specialty, but his answers are so easy to say but really hard to do. He says the main thing I need to do is exercise regularly. He highly recommends me join the local gym.

I love the idea of exercising with other people. But I’m not sure I can find the time very often. I mean, most days after work, I’ve only got five or six hours left to eat dinner, watch my favorite TV shows, help with the kids’ homework, and surf the internet. Someone told me the gym is open in the morning, too. But as it is, waking up as late as I do, I’m already rushed for work. I want to exercise, but I clearly don’t have any time during the day.

And besides, though I love the idea of exercising with other people, I’m not sure I want to exercise with those people. Most of the people that go to the gym feel way too good about themselves and their bodies. They clearly don’t want someone there who’s chubby and out-of-breath. If I went they would judge me. None of them know what it’s like to struggle with their weight. There are other people at the gym–some of the most prominent gym members, in fact–who are nothing but hypocrites. I’ve seen some of them in the drive-through line at Dairy Queen; I’ve seen others buying sugary drinks at the grocery store. Why should I commit to helping myself if other people aren’t doing the same? Not to mention no one’s very friendly at the gym, anyway. All they want is my money each time I go.

So, I guess after thinking about it some, I’ll wait a little while longer before I go exercise at the gym. I know I need to, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’ll start exercising one day. I really will. Maybe when the kids’ sports season is over; or I may have to wait until after they graduate. Their social well-being is more important than my weight, right?

Again, I WILL decide to do this. And when I do, I won’t let anything stand in my way.

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